Apropriate place to sit quietly for a few moments before our grief group starts tonight.
Hard to explain my feelings about grief. It's kinda like certain types of food I guess, like cabbage. I hate to eat it and it tastes bad, but I guess it's good for me.
that's how I experience grief. I'm the kind of person who wants to move forward not really think about the past But just think about today and tomorrow.
I don't like to take the time to think about how much I miss my dad or my father in law. But, it's good to do. To let the tears fall and the heart feel the pain, it's all a part of life.
The temptation is to treat grief the same way as cabbage-spit it out, run from it, keep busy so it doesn't ever rise to the top of the pile.
Chew chew swallow. Thats what I'll do. One bite at a time.
Around January 12, 2011 I experienced losing my grandfather Jimmy. I have been so close to him like a daughter is with her father when she is a child. It is hard for me most of the time; however, there is not a day that crosses my mind where I don't think about him. I pass my dresser and his picture is there smiling at me. I eat something that he use to make for me and instantly I'm reminded of him and how much I really miss him. I learned something extraordinary during my past 7 months of struggles in a place that I can only count on myself and FAITH. God has showen me that my Grandpa Jimmy is still with me because I still LOVE him, but the day I STOP LOVING him is the day he will fade from ME!!! Even though I have been through a lot of stuggles and all I want to do is mourn for him, but then I stop and think about if he was here. He wouldn't want me to mourn over him, for he would want me to remember my memories with him for they are permanent photos that no one can ever destroy from me. Most importantly, he would want me to finish school and study hard so that I will succeed as a Nurse and to keep setting goals and reaching them. My grandpa Jimmy still encourages me through my heart...I made a promise that I will finish and I am going to no matter how long it takes me :) I love you grandpa and I guess I just needed to speak my heart out since this week is hard from me to deal with right now. Thank you God for comforting me, loving me, and well keeping me focused.
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